I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what I wrote yesterday. About what I plan to do with my one wild and precious life. Especially the no regret part. I said I wanted to live so that I have nothing, no thing, to regret when my time eventually runs out. Thinking about it, there is a number of things I already I know I would regret if I didn’t do them. What if I did all of these for a start?
So I’ve been marinating in this new situation of mine for a few weeks now. I had lots of time to think, and more importantly, to take care of myself. I’ve indulged in hours and hours of sleep – I had a whole lot of catching up to do – and added more and more healthy components to my diet and life style. I’m flushing out the old. I’m decluttering. Internally and externally. Where is that going to lead me? I still don’t know.
Isn’t it funny how sometimes an unexpected encounter points you into a certain direction and once you follow the prompt it brings you one step closer to whatever it is you just happen to be looking for, even or especially if it is an answer? This is what happened when katmcdaniel from Synkroniciti commented on my last post. I tend to look up new visitor’s blogs out of curiosity and curtesy and am glad I did so this time, too. Otherwise I would have missed this beautiful Rilke poem she had just posted.
The last few days I spent debating whether to write a new year’s post or not. One thing I was certain of was that, if I did, it would not be the usual ‘oh, so this is what I’m going to do next year’. If I learnt anything last year then it was that my to-do lists, as useful as they have been in the past, have also led me to an inner roadblock. I’ve ended up with too many ‘shoulds’ and too little ‘wants’ or ‘would love tos’.
Sometimes we don’t have to look for answers. The answers come looking for us. This is what happened to me the other day. I had just published my last post when Val showed up. She hardly ever leaves without leaving a thoughtful comment and this time she left something even more precious: a little nudge. The simple fact that she had commented on my post made me look up her latest ones. Which led me straight to Mooji. And this in turn led me to a beautiful quote that has been with me since.