I hit a bit of low point yesterday, as I you may have noticed. Wailing about being forsaken at a lonely train station with no train arriving to take me to the next stop of my life and then wailing some more about not being able to be happy in the Now. Then some of you dropped by to offer some comfort and consolation. And a weird string of aha moments followed.
For a very long time I used to be preoccupied with my past. I wondered a lot about why certain things, family stuff mostly, had happened to me. Why me? Now it’s different. Now I’m telling myself stories about my future, about what I want it to look like. Feels better. Yet I am still lacking something: The ability to find lasting joy in the present moment.