I hit a bit of low point yesterday, as I you may have noticed. Wailing about being forsaken at a lonely train station with no train arriving to take me to the next stop of my life and then wailing some more about not being able to be happy in the Now. Then some of you dropped by to offer some comfort and consolation. And a weird string of aha moments followed.
The other day I had a dream. I jumped off something very, very high up in the sky. Maybe a cloud. Maybe even heavens. I jumped off right into an unimaginably deep, steep free fall. Without parachute, yet totally fearless. I just knew nothing could happen to me. But then, suddenly, out of nowhere, doubt crept it.
You may know the Wheel of Life. This ancient spiritual concept that implies that all species reincarnate or move from one body to another to enjoy lifetime after lifetime. There is, however, another Wheel of Life concept that is just as intriguing. It’s a self-assessment tool telling you how well-rounded, literally, your life is. The rounder the better. I retook my Wheel of Life test this morning and was happy to discover the curves it has put on since I first tried it.
I’ve recently become obsessed with Calisthenics. The bodyweight training that produces beautifully graceful and naturally strong bodies. And minds, I shall add. I’ve always had a strange fascination with sport variations that radiate this kind of body control and sensuality in a sense. I just didn’t know why. Until this morning, when I watched a video by a guy explaining why he got into yoga and calisthenics. It was to heal himself.
So I’ve been marinating in this new situation of mine for a few weeks now. I had lots of time to think, and more importantly, to take care of myself. I’ve indulged in hours and hours of sleep – I had a whole lot of catching up to do – and added more and more healthy components to my diet and life style. I’m flushing out the old. I’m decluttering. Internally and externally. Where is that going to lead me? I still don’t know.