Whenever I move houses – and I do so very frequently for professional reasons – I strive to turn my new place into a real home, my home, as quickly as I can. Last time around I set a new record: I finished the whole thing in just two days of intensive laboring – except for the last five percent. It’s the last boxes that don’t get unpacked. The one or two lamps that don’t get put up. The shoe cabinet that never gets assembled. I don’t know why. I always end up not finishing the last five percent.
A while back I wrote a post on my garden. My outer and my inner one. It had taken me years, decades actually, to realize that the state of my plants reflected my own emotional state. If my plants were in good shape, so was I. If they were miserable, so was I. It all came down to taking care of them and of myself. And I usually did both or neither. So I started using my outer garden as my personal alarm unit for my inner garden – and recently checked on it.
The last few days I spent debating whether to write a new year’s post or not. One thing I was certain of was that, if I did, it would not be the usual ‘oh, so this is what I’m going to do next year’. If I learnt anything last year then it was that my to-do lists, as useful as they have been in the past, have also led me to an inner roadblock. I’ve ended up with too many ‘shoulds’ and too little ‘wants’ or ‘would love tos’.
Some Saturdays are different. Today is one of those. It’s the second Christmas Eve I’m “celebrating” without what used to be my family. I’ve deliberately chosen not to take up an invitation to my best friend’s family party. I just felt like spending the day on my own, enjoying some me-time. As if it was just another Saturday. No different from any other Saturday.
Sometimes we don’t have to look for answers. The answers come looking for us. This is what happened to me the other day. I had just published my last post when Val showed up. She hardly ever leaves without leaving a thoughtful comment and this time she left something even more precious: a little nudge. The simple fact that she had commented on my post made me look up her latest ones. Which led me straight to Mooji. And this in turn led me to a beautiful quote that has been with me since.