About a year and a half ago I posted a bucket list. I imagined what I would do if I only had six months to live. Four things instantly sprung to my mind and in a very strange string of events I did all of them, within six months. It was a pretty tumultuous experience at times, but very worthwhile. I can now write another bucket list, free of old baggage, this time looking forward.
They say it’s important to treasure the moment, to savor the simple pleasures in life, and to practice gratitude. I’ve tried my hand at it for a while now, starting off by taking photos of situations and people that filled me with joy and, as a ritual, scrolling through them from time to time. And though it always made me smile it’s only today that I discovered my ultimate gratitude trick: short videos.
So, the other day I popped the question. Not the happy one. But the other, the sad one. Are you totally through with us? I’ve been postponing this moment for a few years now. Years of hoping that we would find our way back to each other. In a new, more mature way. Turns out it wasn’t meant to happen. I finally figured that. And asked the question. And got the dreaded response. It was my worst nightmare come true. But it has also liberated me.
I few months back I wrote a post on what I would do if I had only six months to live: my no-regret bucket list. It was a list of steps I needed to take to heal relationships that are important to me: with my dad, with my brother and with my ex. Little did I know that the universe was going to conspire and deliver situations to me in no time that would catapult me into resolving them way sooner than I ever thought I would. The delivery was plain brutal in some respects, plain beautiful in others.
My list has caught up with me. I didn’t think I was ready. But life thought I was. Last Monday I got a text from my aunty whom I’ve met only once in my entire life – three years ago, shortly after I first saw my dad again, for the first time after 29 years of no contact whatsoever. Last Monday my aunty told me he’d been brought into hospital and my very first thought was: I need to get there. I need to get there. And way earlier than I ever thought I would I did item number two of my no-regret bucket list…