For a very long time I used to be preoccupied with my past. I wondered a lot about why certain things, family stuff mostly, had happened to me. Why me? Now it’s different. Now I’m telling myself stories about my future, about what I want it to look like. Feels better. Yet I am still lacking something: The ability to find lasting joy in the present moment.
I entered the elevator, pressed -7 and went down seven floors. It took me a while to actually descend. I could see my body go down, but I wasn’t there myself. I mean my brain, my consciousness were still up at 0. I tried again, and again, until it worked. Finally I descended, all of me. Slowly, going down to -7.