My playfulness tag size sucks

After I published my last post on cracks my eyes fell on my tag cloud and it suddenly struck me that all tags standing out proud and tall were, well, quite depressing. Pain, past, and perfectionism had risen to very impressive sizes. Playfulness, fun and silliness, in contrast, had shrunk to tiny blobs of writing, hardly recognizable amidst the forest of life’s hardships. Then again, tag clouds are a very honest reflection of what we spend our focus and energy on. Can’t fool a tag cloud. Hmm…

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There is a crack in everything

For a very long time I’ve been carrying around the heavy weight of my past, a story of childhood hurts that I kept telling myself over and over again until it defined me. My dented trust in life’s innate beauty, my need to control and improve whatever and whoever was around me, my lack of playfulness, as it turns out, were once needed ways to ring-fence my vulnerable core from the heavy storms of life. I had become resilient, or at least I thought so.

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