Time to let go

So, the other day I popped the question. Not the happy one. But the other, the sad one. Are you totally through with us? I’ve been postponing this moment for a few years now. Years of hoping that we would find our way back to each other. In a new, more mature way. Turns out it wasn’t meant to happen. I finally figured that. And asked the question. And got the dreaded response. It was my worst nightmare come true. But it has also liberated me.

Continue reading “Time to let go”

Farewell, Papa

My list has caught up with me. I didn’t think I was ready. But life thought I was. Last Monday I got a text from my aunty whom I’ve met only once in my entire life – three years ago, shortly after I first saw my dad again, for the first time after 29 years of no contact whatsoever. Last Monday my aunty told me he’d been brought into hospital and my very first thought was: I need to get there. I need to get there. And way earlier than I ever thought I would I did item number two of my no-regret bucket list…

Continue reading “Farewell, Papa”

The ultimate fear

For a very long time I thought that my absolute worst fear was that of venturing out into the emotional unknown, risking my heart to be broken a second time, by you, this time forever. Now I know that there is another, even worse fear: the ultimate fear of missing out on possibly the very best thing that could ever happen to me in my entire life, if only I mustered the courage to overcome my absolute worst fear – for a chance to experience true unconditional love and fearless wholehearted living. With you.

Continue reading “The ultimate fear”