The last few days I spent debating whether to write a new year’s post or not. One thing I was certain of was that, if I did, it would not be the usual ‘oh, so this is what I’m going to do next year’. If I learnt anything last year then it was that my to-do lists, as useful as they have been in the past, have also led me to an inner roadblock. I’ve ended up with too many ‘shoulds’ and too little ‘wants’ or ‘would love tos’.
Sometimes we don’t have to look for answers. The answers come looking for us. This is what happened to me the other day. I had just published my last post when Val showed up. She hardly ever leaves without leaving a thoughtful comment and this time she left something even more precious: a little nudge. The simple fact that she had commented on my post made me look up her latest ones. Which led me straight to Mooji. And this in turn led me to a beautiful quote that has been with me since.
If you’ve read my ‘what if’ post you will know that I’ve come to the conclusion that I might want to try living like a leaf floating down a river. For the sake of experiencing a different kind of life: one of less struggle, one of more flow. Now, as you can imagine, it’s quite a quantum leap from furiously paddling upstream, as I used to, to floating downstream without resistance. So I’ve come up with a different mode of transportation for now: Walking on stepping stones. Downstream.
At some point in my life I concluded that life equals struggle. That I had to protect myself from bad things. And that good things didn’t just happen to me, but that I had to study, work hard, put in some sweat to get them. But what if… life didn’t need to be the permanent struggle it seemed to be? What if… my experience was just an uninterrupted loop of the law of attraction at work, confirming what I believed to be true? And what if… I could break out of that loop and rewire it?
This morning I woke up all grumpy. Well, downright depressed, actually. I could feel this sickening knot in my gut again. So I resorted to my new coping mechanism and decided to check on my terrace plants. If you’ve read “How is your inner garden?” you’ll know what that means: I was basically checking on myself. This morning a surprise awaited, though.