Free fall

The other day I had a dream. I jumped off something very, very high up in the sky. Maybe a cloud. Maybe even heavens. I jumped off right into an unimaginably deep, steep free fall. Without parachute, yet totally fearless. I just knew nothing could happen to me. But then, suddenly, out of nowhere, doubt crept it.

It was the strangest thing. I was flying in mid air, without any care, when this thought suddenly hit me: How can I be so sure that I would be safe? Still flying I contemplated the unpleasant prospect of crushing into the ground. I wasn’t actually scared. It was more like a silent contemplation: What if I’m not so safe after all?

It’s in this brief moment that I opened the door to fear. And then I was scared for myself.

However, I still don’t know how I did it, but I somehow managed to catch myself, not physically but mentally. I suddenly remembered that when I originally jumped off there had been no doubt whatsoever. I simply knew: Nothing could hurt me. I must have had access to a different kind of knowledge then. And I trusted it.

The moment I remembered this, I was back on track. I was back trusting the trust I had briefly given up on. What resulted was an extremely empowering, invigorating feeling. I suddenly felt full of energy, confidence and huge excitement, resuming my fearless drop into the unknown.

And more than that: I let out a huge battle cry, a triumphant whoop of joy, a belly-deep yelp of delight. Like the involuntary cry-laughter that just slips out of your mouth when you go up on a roller coaster and then plunge right back deep down and then right back up into a swirling loop. Knowing that you’re buckled in safely and can just enjoy the ride.

As I fell, whooping and yelling, I saw the lower clouds come closer, then punctured their soft blanket, sliding right through it. Then I saw a big wall appear to my left and one to my right, first far away from each other, then moving closer together. Until they finally formed a sort of apartment block into which I slowly descended.

And there I was, softly landing at its bottom. Right in the basement.

I saw men, workers, rearrange stuff. Like in the machine room of a ship. They were moving furniture or machines around, busying themselves with work I didn’t understand. Work I felt I didn’t need to understand, as they seemed to know what they were doing.

So I just briefly peaked inside a room or two. And then left to let them do their job.

me

 

Feature imagine designed by dooder / Freepik

11 thoughts on “Free fall

  1. Great description of a fantastic dream! It’s hard to capture, but you did a really nice job and I could visualize my own version of it very easily. Although I sometimes think people get carried away about dream meanings, I always wonder… I’ve had a recurring dream about falling since childhood. I think it had a very similar control factor about it. It was about either staying focused, or dying. I posted this last December and your post reminded me of it right away. If you’re interested, here’s the link:
    https://wp.me/p8RAkh-LM
    Dreams are amazing and I’m glad you shared yours with us. Very cool and enjoyable post!

    Like

    1. Hi Des, apologies for the late reply. I’ve been busy flying… 🙂

      I’ve thought about this dream a lot since it occurred. There are so many layers to it. I do firmly believe that dreams, at least a certain special kind (we know when we have them), have very deep, very important meaning and messages for us.

      I wrote about another dream a few months back. It was about me clinging to the edge of a cliff. I was dead-scared of falling and crashing into a deep unknown pit. It was a lucid dream, so I kind of knew nothing could happen to my “real” self. Yet, I was still scared. However, after some internal struggle, I finally and consciously let go of my grip. And slowly descended. Nothing bad happened. Nothing exciting either.
      https://wordpress.com/post/myonelife.today/7347

      Another dream followed a few weeks later in which I kind of flew down spiral stairs because there was no other way to get down as the steps were broken and couldn’t be used. I actually kind of enjoyed the flight, though I still needed the wall to hold onto occasionally.

      In that sequence, the current dream is really a quantum leap in that not only am I not afraid of falling (as long as don’t allow my doubts to take over) but I actually jump off voluntarily (!) and I am hugely enjoying the very same the flight that in my first dream I was so scared of.

      So I take the current dream as an indication of how far I have come in my journey towards more courage when venturing into the unknown, fueled by growing trust in life. I’ve successively loosened my grip onto cliff edges, handrails and other means of security and control. I’m starting to let go of my fear of life and am able to more and more see and enjoy the miracle that it can be, if I allow it to unfold according to its own wisdom.

      The workers in the basement I tend to see as my subconscious (or the synapses in my brain) working really hard at rearranging and integrating those latest experiences into a new coherent whole world view.

      Ahem, well, maybe this is all a bit of a stretch. But it totally resonates with me. So there you go. 🙂

      I will check out your other comments and your dream post when I have a bit more time to read through them thoroughly. Your comments are always so thoughtful and I don’t want to rush it. In the meantime, all the best to you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No worries about not getting back to me on anything, sounds like you’ve got a very busy life (as do I lately). But I enjoyed your reply to me about your dream post. I do think it’s very possible that dreams might mean something. Personally, I just don’t have a clue about my own. Your interpretation of your dream was well thought out and didn’t seem like a stretch to me. I do agree that the workers in the basement could mean almost anything, but what a strange scene for you to come into for a landing!

        I’ve also had many dreams about flying, some of them are the most warm and amazing experiences. Again, it was all about will power and control. I’m going to have to write about it some day. I can recall a couple of them as well as actual events in my life. I’ve also had a few that were less than pleasant.

        Like you, I’m getting to the point where I want to find some time to relax and read the blogs and comments from people that I really enjoy. Your blog is definitely one of them. I don’t want to spam your comment sections, so I won’t comment on them all, but every one I’ve read so far has been really interesting and thoughtful.

        I clicked on the link to your other dream but it took me to what I think is one of your empty edit screens. But I’ll try to find it this weekend. Thanks for following up with me. I’ll comment when I find your “lucid dream” post! Have a great weekend.  Des

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Des, you’re not spamming my comment section at all. I’m always thrilled by your comments. I’m only sorry that I didn’t have that much time lately to spend the time on my blog that I would have liked to.

        It makes me very happy to hear that you enjoy reading my posts. I do pour a lot of my heart into them. And even though that in itself is rewarding because it helps me digest experiences and get through rough times, thoughtful comments and feedback certainly add a very valuable and enjoyable aspect to the whole blogging process. I’m so glad I got started on this.
        Ah, and I’m glad you found the other dream post. I wish I could say the broken link was just a lure to get you to browse through all my other posts. 🙂 But I guess I just messed up. Glad you weren’t discouraged.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m glad I didn’t overwhelm you with all my comments. I plan to read a lot more of your blog when I get time. I too am really enjoying the blogging experience, something I didn’t really expect when I started a little over a year ago (about the time I retired). I’ve just gone back to work after taking a year off and so like you, I’m now finding myself really busy. It’s way too easy to fall back into the work routine!
        I plan to read a lot more of your blog when I get time and respond to your comments. I really think you’re a talented writer and I enjoy the subject matter. Thanks for letting me know that you don’t mind all my commentary. Hope life is treating you well. Des.

        Liked by 1 person

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